Would seek relationship counseling from Abby White?

“Abby White, Interracial Relationship Counselor”, was funny, and realistic. I’m fascinated by the ideas of interracial relationships. The best way to know others, and learn new things educational and otherwise is to get to know people different from ourselves, or at least people who seem different. Fundamentally we’re all human, functioning in a constantly evolving world trying to understand it or simply succeed in it. What I like about interracial relationships, whether they be a friendship or romantic relationship is that you find a commonality among these two physically and or mentally different people.
And though this video did not really appeal to my position of therapy for interracial couples, because the “therapist’s” opinions and suggestions were all based on racial and ethnic stereotypes perpetuated through different forms of mediums, I found it funny.
The character Abby White (therapist) had no qualifications, let alone any just and supported research to back up her claims. She uses magazines as a psychiatric source. Like in this video she showed Essence, Ebony, and XXL, as her research for counseling an interracial couple that was African-American and Asian-American. This speaks to a lot of what the mainstream media forums put out there, purists, as well as the general public —that may just not hang around in diverse circles— actually believe things like this to not just be funny but true, because it’s the only representation they see or it correlates to that one person or small group of people that THEY know. And I stress the “they” part because we all have different experiences, and perceive things different ways however, over beliefs are not necessary wrong, but they are biased and based on what we know.
And yea this was just a short film posted on YouTube, and we all know I found it funny, but I don’t believe this is how all interracial relationships couples. African-American and Asian-Americans are. Everybody’s as unique and they are similar. At least in the context of however people differ and relate to one another. For example, in the workplace or at school we don’t all come from the same backgrounds, or see life the same way, that makes unique and a little different from each other, however the fact that we engage with one another, communicating, and working together makes us similar, it gives us something in common. Maybe it’s just because I’m young, or because I’m Black and Asian too, but watching this video I saw Americans, people like me, like my family, and even some of my friends. A lot time we characterize things using race, but how are we defining that race, or are we restating someone else’s definition of that race? And what is that definition? That’s a question I’ve started to think about in recent years.
What are the implications of the words I’m using, specifically racial stereotypes. I characterizes actions and interests as being Black, Asian, Hispanic, or White (aka proper/normal). For example, foods, like in the video Abby says to Tyrone, “you like your steak well done, just DEAD…”, doesn’t like asparagus, and should try “collard greens, candid yams, some sweet tea, and maybe some melon”. Now being that I am African American, I do state that I like my steak well done, but I do not like candid yams, or collard greens, and a lot of soul food for that mater. But am I any less black? No. I’m not. However my friends back home, being that they are predominantly white, would say I act White and like White things and my Black cousins would tell me the same. However I know that’s not the case, I just like what I like. Race doesn’t equal who we are and you can’t box it up in a one dimensional character and say it represents all people of that characters background, that ridiculous. Each portrayal of POC of color is a representation, and each one is a positive one at that, because it’s realistic and doesn’t marginalize but opens the door to more options and opportunity.

Director Doan La
Interview questions click link below:)
http://youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com/the-short-list-abby-white-interracial-relationship-counselor/

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2 thoughts on “Would seek relationship counseling from Abby White?

  1. What I like most about this article is that you essentially describe what love is in its purest form. Being attracted to someone because of their character and what is on the exterior. I think that it takes a special person to be able to care about someone aside from your family and your closest circle of friends. Ideally, we should be able to look beyond another person’s physical appearance and cultural affiliation, but sometimes it’s hard to do so because we live a society that values vanity and cultural differences. Despite America being the Great Melting Pot, our culture emphasizes what makes us different, instead of what makes us similar. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that we are all humans with the same goals and interests in life, and that the labels we use to categorize ourselves are not as important as we make them out to be.
    When I was younger, I was very hesitate to date outside my race because I was intimated by how tight-knot the racial cliques were at my high school. I was afraid that I would not be accepted by the other person’s family and friends because I didn’t look like them. I was also afraid that I would lose my friends because they would’ve thought that I was good to date someone who was black, but that all changed when I started college. I met someone who was Korean who I cared about very much. We both shared the same views of life, we enjoyed each other’s company, and it was the first time I felt connected to someone outside my family. Even though we came from different backgrounds, it gave us the opportunity to share each other’s worlds, and we found out that we were more alike than what we originally thought. Everyone we knew supported our relationship, except the other person’s parents, and because of them they forced us to end our relationship and made it impossible for us to contact each other. They didn’t give me a chance to get to know me as a person; they just assumed that because I was black that I didn’t have anything worthwhile to offer their family. That experience showed me that the majority of the problems of interracial dating come from onlookers and family. The idea that tradition will disappear in the midst of progress, that the customs that define our individual heritage will be comprised to appease our partner, that America’s homogeneity will diversify, and to our parents it would come across as a rejection to our self-identity. But in time, I hope that our generation and the next can show the older generations that love is more than skin deep, and that we can coexist with someone who is completely different from us and still have a strong union as well as ties our culture, like other same race couples. Hope to see more posts form you soon Sam :)

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